He is your praise and He is your God, who has done these great and awesome things for you which your eyes have seen. Deuteronomy 10:21
Sometimes we get surprised by the presence of God. We know He's always there, always with us, that He never leaves us; but sometimes we encounter Him in a way that takes our breath away. We're surprised. We're speechless. We're left knowing that we've just had a personal, one on one encounter with the Almighty. This happened to me today, and I had to share it.
This year has been a little challenging. I had pneumonia in February that lasted for three months, only to find out that it was actually covid pneumonia. I was sick. Thankfully, I recovered and, like we always seem to do, went back to daily life not thinking much about it. Don't get me wrong. I was in prayer and I was so grateful to God when I got better. I just didn't spend a lot of time thinking about where I had been, and I didn't go down the "what if" road. So I moved on. Then in September, I got covid again. I was given an antiviral medicine in hopes that it wouldn't lead to pneumonia again. It didn't lead to pneumonia, but the medicine can cause rebound covid, and I got it again right away. It wasn't as bad as before, but shortly afterwards, I noticed a place on my lower left leg. It looked like a bruise, but it was very painful and tender to the touch. Now, what's interesting about this is that I had a similar place come up on my other leg earlier this year, but I didn't pay much attention to it, and it eventually healed on its own. This time, though, it seemed different. It was red, swollen, and painful, so i called the doctor. In short, I had two blood clots in my left leg. So now I am in the middle of trying to get a blood thinner within range so these clots will dissolve. This, too, has been challenging, with shots in my stomach, medication, and a team of doctors helping me get rid of these clots. This brings me to today.
This team of doctors includes the oncologist I had when I was going through breast cancer. She is also a hematologist, and I had an appointment with her today. I love their office. They remembered me, and they are so welcoming and loving. It felt like a reunion today. Until I was led into the exam room and left alone. The nurse closed the door, and I burst into tears. I did not see this coming. My first thoughts were, ok, get it together before the doctor gets in here. With tears streaming down my face, I was so concerned that she was going to walk in and wonder what in the world was wrong with me, that I almost missed it. You see, it was almost as if I could feel a set of hands on my shoulders, calming me, telling me to take a minute and breathe, telling me to relax. It was Jesus. He was there in that room with me today. Like I said earlier, I know He never leaves me. I know He's always there. But today, it was as if He were a tangible being sitting next to me. The last time I was in that room I had cancer. The last time I was in that room I was so engulfed in surviving that I didn't look to tomorrow because I had to get through today. But Jesus. In His calm, reassuring, patient presence allowed me to feel so many things at once today. Yes, my whole being went back in time to where I was then, in the throes of cancer and treatment and fear, but also a whole lot of blessing that God allowed me to see and feel and experience. But then, peace. Psalm 29:11 says, "The Lord gives strength to His people, and the Lord blesses His people with peace". I felt it right then and there. I knew He was telling me He still had me in the palm of His hand. He gently reminded me of where I had been, but He also reminded me of where I am now. I stand in awe of Him. I stand in amazement that we serve a God that will show up in a small doctor's office when you least expect it to show you His grace, His love, His peace, His sheer bigness.
All through the Bible we see God's character. We see Him work in so many ways. But today, He took time to meet me at the doctor's office because, you see, He knew I would look back. He knew I would feel all the cancer things all over again. Even though I was just bopping through my day going to what I thought was another doctor's visit, He was already there, in that room, in that place waiting. Waiting for me. Because He knew. He knew I would need Him. He knew I would cry. He had my bottle of tears ready to collect a few more. But He also knew that I would feel Him and acknowledge His presence. As much as I try to always be grateful and thankful for that whole journey and the fact that He brought me out on the other side, I never feel as if I praise Him enough. So today, I praise Him. I give Him all glory and honor and praise. I give Him my thanks for healing me. I thank Him for meeting me there today to remind me that He's there. He's there in the details, waiting - waiting on me to see Him - waiting on me to know He's big and mighty and strong, but also that He's gentle and loving. I thank Him for today. I got home today, and in the sky was a cross. Oh, most would say it was just an airplane that had put it there. But to me, in my eyes, it was Him. I love Him. I praise Him. And my eyes will be open just a little bit more today because of who He is. He's God. He's Almighty. He's wonderful, and He loves us more than we can ever imagine.
I love you all.
