Dry Bones

 The Spirit of God has made me, 
And the breath of the Almighty gives me life.
Job 33:4

Every breath we take is a gift. Each inhale. Each exhale. It's easy sometimes to take those breaths for granted. I think that's because they come without us even thinking about them. They are automatic. We need each breath that we breathe to have life on this earth. But what about a different kind of breath? The kind that gets our hearts pumping and puts excitement in our bones. The kind that makes us want to shout about the glory of God and dance in the streets like David. The kind that makes us want to be different from the world - to be set apart because we have something that people see but can't quite put their finger on. That kind of breath can only be given by the power of the Holy Spirit. It can only be breathed into us by the breath of the Almighty. It's glorious. It's exciting. It brings us joy even when we feel sadness. It brings comfort even when we feel scared. If you're a believer in Christ, the very breath of God is in you.

Several weeks ago in Sunday School, we were studying the book of Ezekiel. I've read about this before, but this lesson took me deeper into God's word and it had a profound effect on me. You see, Ezekiel was a prophet and God's hand was upon him. God gave Ezekiel a vision. The Bible tells us in Ezekiel 37:1-2, "The hand of the Lord was on me, and He brought me out by His Spirit and set me down in the middle of the valley; it was full of bones. He led me all around them. There were a great many of them on the surface of the valley and they were very dry." God led Ezekiel through this valley. He gave him a tour so he could see all of these bones. When the scripture says "they were very dry", I learned that this signified the utter hopelessness of life coming back into these bones. No sign of life existed. 

Through my cancer journey, I learned a lot about being in a valley. It's usually your lowest point. Many times you find yourself alone in the valley. But I also learned that in the valley, God is always with us. I also learned that there is such beauty in these valleys we walk through. It may not seem like it at the time, but there is much to see and learn, and it's almost always a magnificent sight. So you may be wondering how there could be beauty in this valley that Ezekiel has been put in. Just wait. You'll see. 

God spoke to Ezekiel and told him to speak to the dry bones. Ezekiel 37:5-6 says, "This is what the Lord GOD says to these bones: I will cause breath to enter you, and you will live. I will put tendons on you, make flesh grow on you, and cover you with skin. I will put breath in you so that you come to life. Then you will know I am the Lord." I don't know about Ezekiel, but if I'm standing there in the middle of a valley of dry bones and the Lord God tells me He's about to put tendons and flesh on them and give them life, I'm gonna be a little scared. But that's exactly what God did. All of the bones that were scattered across that valley were put together as skeletons. God put the tendons on, joined the muscles, and put the skin over the bones - all while Ezekiel watched it. Wow! What a sight that must have been. The Bible tells us that the rattling sound of these bones coming together shook the earth so hard it was as if there were an earthquake! However, even though God put these bodies back together, they still had no life - they had no breath in them. 

God then commanded Ezekiel to prophesy to the breath, and that the Lord God says breathe into these slain so that they may live! Verse 10 of Ezekiel 37 says, "So I prophesied as He commanded me; the breath entered them, and they came to life and stood on their feet, a vast army." Let's just imagine for a moment all that Ezekiel has witnessed. He went from being in a quiet valley full of dry bones, to being in a valley full of people standing before him. Only God could do this. 

You may be wondering where I'm headed with this, but I had to give you the visual of what happened. It was so significant to me. This vision God gave Ezekiel shows us that we are dead if we don't have Jesus as our Savior. It shows us the power of the Holy Spirit. Oh, we're human and we're walking around, living our lives from day to day, but we are not experiencing the richness of all God has to offer. The Holy Spirit brings new life to us when we accept God's salvation. The Holy Spirit is the joy in our sadness, the comfort in our fear, the truth to our doubts. The Holy Spirit is the dance in our step and the music to our songs. We live here on earth because God gave us life. But we live in abundance here on earth and then for eternity if we accept Jesus as our Lord. He gives us life and His Spirit enables us to breathe and be alive in a way we could never imagine. God gave Ezekiel this vision to show us that the gospel is about making dead people alive. We are dead in Christ until we accept Him. Then we are given this beautiful gift of the Holy Spirit. This Spirit is what moves us. It's what makes our hearts overflow at the sight of a sunset, or the vastness of the ocean, or simply the fullness of being in His presence. The Spirit is a light that shines in us that makes us look different. He didn't have to give us this gift of His Spirit. He could have given us only the gift of His salvation. And that would have been enough. But He went further and gave us this mighty, powerful gift of His Spirit. He woke us up and gave us a gift worth shouting about. He died on the cross to save our souls from Hell. But then He breathed into us His Spirit to live this life here, right now, in a way that glorifies Him - in a way where we can be so filled with His Spirit that we are overflowing. What a gift!

If you don't know the Lord as your Savior, please consider Him. He's waiting for you. He's waiting to breathe life into you like you've never known. Don't live this one life you have here on earth as dry bones. Let God breathe into you His Spirit so you can experience life abundantly here and then forevermore in Heaven. I'm so thankful to God for His Holy Spirit, for breathing life into these dry bones of mine, for raising me up to live in a way that is not possible without Him. I'm thankful that the very breath of the Almighty gives me life.

I love you all,

Kacey

There's Just Something About That Name

 ".....and His name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, 

Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace". 

Isaiah 9:6

I'd love to tell you about my Jesus. Just a glimpse of His power and His love. How He showed up for me the other day in such a simple, powerful way.

The other morning in the shower, I found myself humming. It's not unusual that I hum or sing in the shower. There are many times that I have full out worship with the Lord in the shower. It's a place where I'm alone, no one can hear me except for Him, and I have had some really great conversations with Him there. This particular morning, though, I wasn't paying much attention, just trying to get done and get my day started. So I was just absently humming along when I realized that I was humming the chorus "There's Just Something About that Name", (written by Gloria Gaither). Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, there's just something about that name. That's how it starts. It made me smile. Just saying His name made me smile. I was completely filled with the Holy Spirit. I felt His presence. To sing that first line, I felt so humbled because I felt as if I was welcoming Him into my day. This particular morning I was so keenly aware of His name and all that it meant. He died for me even though I didn't deserve it. He loves me unconditionally even though I fail every single day. I just sang that first line over and over and over and as the warm water rushed over me, so did His presence. I lost all awareness of anything else. I often times pray in the shower for the same reasons I sing - I'm alone, and no one else can hear me. And I don't know about you, but sometimes I feel like my prayers are repetitive. But on this day, it was just me and Jesus. All I did was sing this song. I felt close to Him, surrounded by Him, truly in the presence of Him, all by simply calling on His name.

Master, Savior, Jesus, like the fragrance after the rain is the next line. I thought about that, about how that fragrance after a rain is so different and distinct. It's fresh and it makes us want to breathe it in. That's what Jesus does - He makes all things fresh and new. The Bible says in Lamentations 3:22-23, "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." I thank Jesus that He finds a way to give mercy and grace. I know His heart breaks when I make the same mistakes or disappoint Him, yet He never seems to tire of giving new mercy each and every morning. Just as He makes the sun rise every morning, His mercy is new.

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, let all Heaven and earth proclaim, Kings and Kingdoms will all pass away, but there's just something about that name is the last part of this chorus. This is so powerful to me. It says in 1 Chronicles 29:11, "Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is yours. Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, and You are exalted as head above all." Everything is the Lord's. I think that's what humbled me so much was the thought that everything I have is the Lord's. It's all His, but He gave these things, these blessings, this life to me. Even in hard times and trying times and times of uncertainty, He's there giving grace and mercy and blessings. Even when we lose our way or stumble and fall, He's there to pick us up. Sometimes He has to carry us, but He's there. We must proclaim it. He's given us a voice to tell others about Him, to share what He does for us, to share His goodness and most importantly His salvation. Kings and kingdoms will all pass away, but Jesus lives forever! Hallelujah! Philippians 2:10-11 says, "that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in Heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." So at the end of this life, everything passes away and is gone, but those of us that know Jesus as our personal Savior, it's just the beginning! I don't think we can truly fathom eternity, that there's no end, ever. That we will be surrounded with the love of Jesus in a place so beautiful we can't imagine, full of light and love and praise and happiness with never an end is hard to grasp. But oh how wonderful it will be. 

There's power in the name of Jesus. There's hope and love and protection and freedom and so many other things in the name of Jesus. All we have to do is whisper His name. That's what I did on this morning in the shower. I was humming His name and He met me where I was. I worshiped Him just by singing His name and my day started off with a smile. Nothing else mattered. He was by my side in an instant. I hope you know Him as your Savior. If you don't, reach out. I'll help you find Him. He's not far away and He's waiting. 

Thank you for letting me tell you a little bit about my Jesus. Without Him I would be lost, but with Him I am free and I am blessed and I am grateful. There's just something about Him. There's just something about His name.

I love you all, 

Kacey

The SON Shines!

 From the rising of the sun to its setting, 

the name of the Lord is to be praised.  

Psalm 113:3

The sun did not shine this morning. It was dreary and cloudy and foggy and rainy. It's funny how the weather sometimes matches our mood. I wasn't in a bad mood, but I was feeling a little anxious. You see, earlier this week, I had an appointment to get my yearly mammogram. For those of you that don't know, I was diagnosed with breast cancer nine years ago, ten years this November. So, going in for a mammogram is always a little stressful. Doctors say that the ten year mark is a very big deal, but in all honesty, on Wednesday I was just going about my day thinking I would be in and out of the office, no trouble - just something that had to be done. After all, I was almost to the ten year mark. I was fine. Let's get this over with and go have lunch! That pretty much sums up my thinking and my attitude on Wednesday, with just the slightest hint of anxiety.

My appointment on Wednesday was late in the day - the last patient. Normally, I don't do this because if other tests need to be done, I like to have enough time to do them. But I took this appointment because it was the soonest one they had. I get my mammogram done and the girl told me I would hear from my doctor. Usually, I wait around for the radiologist to read it so I know the results before I leave. They didn't want me to do that. I know they were trying to get out of there and go home, but I insisted they let me stay until the films were read. I wish I hadn't. The girl came out and told me they saw something that needed more attention and I would need more tests. They couldn't do them that afternoon, nor the next day. They had Friday morning - today - which meant I had to wait the rest of Wednesday and all day and night Thursday. The waiting truly is the worst part. The not knowing. But I fumbled through those two days and did pretty good. I hadn't felt anything abnormal, and I found the first lump, so I kept telling myself this over and over. 

I will tell you that I do not believe in coincidences. I call them Godincidences because He is involved in every detail of our lives, no matter how big or small. Luke 12:6-7 says, "Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows." So it is no coincidence that we are studying the book of Job in Sunday School at church. It's a Godincidence. I've studied the beginning of this book for the last two days, going deep into the word trying to understand the depths of Job's loss and his despair. He lost everything, including his ten children. He was sick and covered in boils from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet. But the lesson this week centered on hope - having hope in the midst of our tragedies and the circumstances that seem to be too much. It is not revealed in whole about why God allowed these things to happen to Job. It remains one of the mysteries of God. Isaiah 55:8-9 tells us, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." So this tells us that God is in control and He has HIs reasons as to why things happen the way they do. But for me, I also believe that Job was used as an example to us - to show us how to withstand the things that come into our lives - to show us to never blame God but always have hope and faith in Him. We must not ever lose our faith. I'll tell you in a minute how this helped me today.

But let me get back to my appointment this morning. A diagnostic mammogram was ordered to look deeper into what they saw on Tuesday. An ultrasound was also ordered, but only if needed. So I get my favorite girl today. She's been with me over the last ten years of this journey, and with my mom before me. She knows us. She knows how we think. She cares. Deeply. She does everything in her power to put our minds at ease at each appointment. She started by saying that she had a hard time seeing what they saw on Tuesday, which is good. She took the pictures, put my mind at ease and I was good. I waited while she took the films to the radiologist, and I honestly did not think an ultrasound would be needed. It was. I kept thinking, "Lord, am I going to go back down this road?" 

The girl came and got me for the ultrasound, and although I was a little anxious, I also know that they are overly cautious, and I love that they are. She's doing the mammogram and then tells me she's going to take some pictures under my arm and then she'll be done. This is where the fear just almost overtook me. I know enough to know that when they do an ultrasound under your arm, they are checking your lymph nodes. They've never done that before, so I had to work really hard to remain as calm as possible. She took the films to the radiologist  and said she'd be right back. Here's what I know about that time she was gone: 

It was 8 minutes - I checked the time at 4 minutes and then 2 and then 2 more. 

There were 9 cabinets in that room.

There were only 2 lights on.

There was a very busy picture on the wall that had only 3 red flowers in it.

There were 3 things in the ceiling that blinked a red light every 3 seconds.

There was a bug trapped in the florescent light above me.

I thought about Job. I thanked God for Job. I thanked Him for giving us that book of the Bible and that although I was so sad for him and what he had to endure, I was so thankful that I had his example of how not to lose faith and hope. You see, for a time Job thought death had the final say. We - those of us that know Jesus as our personal Savior - we know death is the beginning of eternity with our Risen Lord. Hallelujah! 

These thoughts kept me from going down the "what if" road. It kept me sane and it kept my eyes on Jesus. It wasn't easy. I was scared. I thought about how quickly - 8 minutes in this case - our lives can so drastically change. But I did know deep in the depths of my soul that even though things could change in an instant, God was there in that room with me. I knew He was standing by that bed, holding my hand, waiting for me to get the results. 

The place they found was a cluster of fluid filled, benign cysts that is nothing to worry about. I praise God for this news. I thank Him for His mercy and His grace. I will say that had the results been different, I know He would have walked the road with me again. I'm relieved that I don't have to. But I am always, always grateful for these moments. As hard as they are, as scary as they are, I learn so much. My life is in His hands. James 4:14 says, "....You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." That is how fragile this life is. But I am so thankful that eternity is forever. "There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light, and they will reign for ever and ever." Revelation 22:5

So the sun was not shining this morning. It was dreary and foggy and cloudy and rainy. But for me, 2 Samuel 23:4 came to life. It says, "He dawns on them like the morning light, like the sun shining forth on a cloudless morning, like rain that makes grass to sprout from the earth." God was shining down on me and I give Him all glory and all honor and all praise. But the one thing I learned from Him this week and today, is that He shines on us no matter our circumstances. He loves us that much. So the sun didn't shine this morning, but the SON? He did!

I love you all,

Kacey

Be Encouraged

"For the Vision is yet for the appointed time; it hastens toward the goal and it will not fail; though it tarries, wait for it; for it will certainly come, it will not delay."

Habakkuk 2:3

The picture of this cross took my breath away. It looks as if angels have attached their wings upon it. To me, this picture of the cross encompasses not only that Jesus died for us, but it also reminded me of Psalm 91:11-12, "For He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways. In their hands they shall bear you up..." (NKJV). It's a powerful, beautiful reminder of our God - what He's capable of, what He does for us, and how much He loves us.

I've tried for weeks to write this blog. Honestly, I sat down to write it on Inauguration day, but the words just wouldn't come. Well, the words came, but they were my words, not God's words. I always try to write when I feel the Lord speaking through me, making sure I'm sharing what He's put on my heart to you and to me. I believe He speaks through me, so I only want to write His words, not mine. But that day and several days after, all the words were my own. I was upset. I was angry. I was heartbroken. I was afraid. But then I heard the Lord say, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV). I knew then that the enemy had taken over, so I regrouped. I went to my knees and sought God. He took me first to the verse above in Habakkuk 2:3 "For the Vision is yet for the appointed time; it hastens toward the goal and it will not fail; though it tarries, wait for it; for it will certainly come, it will not delay." After God gave me this verse, I've just been letting it stir in my heart. I've been listening and trying to hear what God is telling me.

I know I may lose some of you at this point because this topic seems political; but I ask that you keep on reading because I believe it's much more than that. It's not political. It's spiritual. It's about what God has called us to do. It's about His word. I believe it is time for us to take a stand, to call good as good and evil for evil - to point out what vehemently goes against His word. God has not called us to be silent. He has not called us to sit back and let the enemy destroy, or get a foothold in our lives and in our churches. He's called us to speak up for Him, for His word.

It's no secret if you know me that I want our President to be President Trump. I believe he is our President, and I believe this election was stolen. I know that sounds crazy because Biden is in office. I've even made sure that I am not following man, because it's important that we never follow man, but that we follow God. But I believe that God chose Donald Trump for such a time as this. I believe God put him in office to do His work and I don't think He's finished with him yet. This doesn't mean that I love everything about him as a person. He has flaws - we all do. He is not perfect - none of us are. I won't list all of the positive things he's done for America. You can look it up. The list is too long to put here. But the Bible tells us we are to judge only by the fruits of the spirit, nothing else. I see a change in him. I see his love of country and his love for Americans, but I now also see a love for Jesus. 

Why am I saying all of this? It does seem like I am going around the world, but this is a hard topic that God has laid on my heart. The things I have seen take place from the Biden administration - the abortion laws allowing us to kill our babies; bringing homosexuality into the forefront and making it seem okay; allowing men to use women's bathrooms; appointing a transgender as Assistant Health Secretary - all of these things go completely and totally against the word of God. We are not supposed to sit by in silence and allow this to happen! Keep praying. Don't give up. The very second we give up or let Satan give us one shred of doubt, he pounces on us. Rebuke him in the name of Jesus! Cry out to God to save our land. Storm the courts of Heaven and pray against these things happening today that go against God's word.

I come to you today with a word of hope and encouragement. God is not done. God never goes back on His promises. His word does not come back to us void. Make no mistake, we are in a spiritual battle unlike we've ever seen. This is not about Republican versus Democrat. This is about good versus evil. We are in a spiritual battle and it's time for us to rise up! Psalm 27:3 says, "Though an army besiege me, My heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident." (NIV) We are confident because "What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:31 (NIV) Be confident in your prayers. Be confident in your hearts. God is not happy when He sees things taking place in our country that goes against His word. He tells us in His word that where two or more are gathered, He will be there with us. There are millions of us praying for our country. 

I will close with this. Deuteronomy 20:9 says, "For the Lord your God is the One who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory". (NIV) He's with us, friends. He's fighting for us. His ways and His thoughts are higher than ours. It may seem bleak right now, but remember all that God has given up for us because of His great love for us. This picture of this cross tells the whole story. And the verse God gave me weeks ago....well, it tells the story, too. The vision is at an appointed time, not a specific date. Though it tarries, wait for it because it will surely come. I love this part. God tells us to seek Him and honor Him in all we do. Keep praying. Keep praising Him. Because as Habakkuk says, in the end it will speak and it will not lie. It will not tarry. Press on. Keep your eyes toward Heaven and rely on God's word. He's not done. It will come in such a way that will give all Glory to Him, and it will be perfect. He loves us just that much.

I love you all, 

Kacey

Take My Hand, Lord

He existed before anything else,

and he holds all creation together. 

Colossians 1:17

Today my heart is full. It's an ordinary day where nothing extraordinary has happened. But my heart is so full of Jesus. Do you ever have days where you just feel Him beside you? You may be sitting outside enjoying the sunshine and you feel Him there? Or maybe you've curled up with a good book on this Sunday afternoon and you can feel Him laughing at the funny parts with you. Maybe you feel Him sitting with you as you watch your children play. Maybe you just feel a little lighter today and you're not sure why. It's Him. He's there. This is how I feel today. I feel Him with me. Oh, I know He's always with me because He tells us in His word that he never leaves us or forsakes us. But today, I feel like I could reach out and feel His touch.

I've written the last couple of times on worry and anxiety. I shared with you last time about Alan needing extra hours at work and how God provided those for us. Well, He provided them again this weekend, too. Thank you, Jesus. I was talking with someone at church today about how hard it is to stay up, even when God showed up right on time a week ago. How easy it is to slide back down into the worry pit. I ran across this scripture this week. Psalm 34:4 says, "I sought the Lord and he answered me; He delivered me from all my fears." I love this verse! His promise is that if we seek Him, pray to Him, ask for His help, He will deliver us from our fears. Now, we may need to do this often, but I believe the more we do it, the easier it becomes to release those fears. And then we end up with more days like today...sitting...walking...talking...reading, and we feel Him beside us, and we are freer, lighter, happier. Our hearts are full.

I will share with you that for the last few months I have been asking God to show me what He wants me to do, how He wants me to serve. I have such a passion for people, to make sure everyone hears the gospel. I want so desperately for everyone to experience the blessings and the riches that Jesus has to offer each and every one of us. Sometimes I feel like running outside and asking everybody I see if they know Him. I want to make sure no one misses all the beauty He has to offer us here, on earth, as well as for eternity. I have such a passion in my heart for us to communicate and talk about the things that bother us, the fears and the anxieties, the loneliness, the heartache, the broken relationships, the sadness on days when we see no reason to be sad but we are, the joys, the triumphs, the victories, and I could go on and on. But we need to talk about these things. We need to be there for each other. We need to be the person that says, "I'm here and I care about you". Sometimes we see the outward smile, but on the inside someone is hurting or scared or lonely. 

There have been so many ways God has touched my life - too many to put into words here today. But I want to share them all, because if I do, maybe others will want Him to touch them, too. This is how we spread the good news! Psalm 98:4 says, "Shout to the Lord, all the earth; break out in praise and sing for joy!" Yes! Sing for JOY! 

So today, my heart is full. It's up to us to spread His love and His forgiveness and His salvation. In my devotion one day this week, one sentence jumped out at me more than any other. It's from Jesus Calling and it says, "abandon yourself to Me - My hand is the only thing you can grasp without damaging your soul". 

The verse at the top of this blog is wonderful. God was here before anything else existed and He holds all of creation together. He reaches down to take our hand and we're given the gift of being able to feel His presence. "For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." Isaiah 41:13 

Go ahead and take hold of His hand so your fears can vanish. And while you're grabbing onto Him, give your other hand to someone else. They're waiting on you. 

I love you all,

Kacey

Right on Time!

She is clothed in strength and dignity,

and she laughs without fear of the future.

Proverbs 31:25

I have a confession to make. This verse is a favorite, but I must confess that I have not been laughing without fear of the future. I have struggled so much over these last couple of months with what I know to do versus what I'm doing. I know that God tells me not to fear, that He does everything for my good, that He is in control, that I should never worry, that I should cast all my burdens on Him. I know these things and I believe with my whole heart that this is exactly what we should do. But what have I been doing? Worrying, fearing, questioning, asking why and what if, and on and on.

I do struggle with fear and anxiety. Part of me thinks it's just the momma and wife in me....fearing for my boys and my husband, their safety, their health, making good and right choices. But I know in my heart that they are not truly mine. They are God's and I just have the privilege of being their momma and Alan's wife. So I am constantly praying over them while I'm praying over releasing my fear and anxiety. It can be quite the vicious cycle. Part of me thinks it's a result of my cancer journey. My doctor tells me that it's very common after cancer to experience an increase in fear and anxiety, almost like PTSD symptoms. Maybe. There was so much good that came, and still comes, from my walk through cancer, and I want the good to outweigh the bad and scary parts. Part of me thinks it's the enemy. The enemy doesn't want me to have so much trust in the Lord that I can honestly laugh without fear of the future. But it's what I want so desperately. I'm a work in progress.

Here's what God did this week to show me He's got it. He has everything under control. I need not worry.

These past couple of months have been a trying time. My parents, along with Alan, the boys and me, share the home we currently live in. There are lots of stairs and lots of shared spaces. We have purchased some land and are building a new house with no stairs and separate living spaces. We all fully can see God's hand in moving us where we are, as well as where we are going. Looking back, you can literally trace His hand over us. I'm so thankful for this confirmation. Well, a few weeks ago, Alan's job stopped overtime hours completely. These are hours he worked to get some extra money in order to pay for the construction of the new home, as well as the home we're in. We didn't think much of it at first because it's happened before. But after a month, they let all employees know that overtime would not be available for a while, if ever. We still did not worry because we were going to approach this differently...we were going to not worry about the future. Then nothing happened. No extra work came, but the bills kept coming. We started getting antsy and worried and distracted. Alan began looking for other work to fill in the gaps, as did I. Just when we were on the brink of being behind, God stepped in! Alan got a job working on Saturday mornings. This is significant because the one prayer we had was that God would not let extra work interfere with Sundays and us going to church. He did it. Then, God opened overtime hours back up for him last week for two days. That may not seem like much, but those two days were right on time. They were perfect. 

I will say that the hours at Alan's job have again been closed. But what did we learn? God opened something up that man said would be closed. We learned that God has us in His hands. He sees our tears and He hears our prayers and He will never, ever let us fall. It might not look the way we want it to, and it might not seem like enough, but for us, it was enough. It was enough to know that God didn't leave us stranded. It was enough, though, to keep us dependent solely upon Him. He's our refuge. He's our help. He's our solace. He's our everything. I was so moved by this lesson He taught us. It's allowed me to rid myself of other anxiety because He has that, too. Well, I'm able to do that today. I'm still a work in progress. We all are. I'm thankful for His patience. I'm thankful for His love. I'm thankful for His provision. I don't know where the next set of hours are coming from. I don't know how we're going to get from this place to the next one...but God does. He only wants me to know that He has a plan for our good. We need only to trust. But for today, and we're supposed to live only one day at a time...so today, this moment, this minute, I can laugh without fear of the future. As for the minutes, hours and days after this one...I'm working on it. 

I love you all,

Kacey

He Amazes Me!

The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.

Exodus 14:14

I'm not sure why it takes me so long to write. I ask the Lord all the time to give me the words, and I guess sometimes I feel like I need to have something big to write about before I can actually write. What I've come to realize is that the Lord gives me something big every day. Every. Day. He gets me up each morning. He blesses me so abundantly that sometimes there are no words. But today I want to try and find those words. I want to talk about the things that weigh me down and the things that lift me up. I believe that if we continue to focus on the things that lift us up, the things that weigh us down won't seem so heavy.

I need to go back to May of last year. May is the month I have a routine mammogram. Since breast cancer, this day in May is a little stressful. I get the mammogram and then sit in the waiting area and wait for the radiologist to read it. If the doctor sees anything suspicious, I immediately have an ultrasound to check it further. Last May they saw something and I went to ultrasound. Those moments after the ultrasound when you're waiting in the room alone for the nurse to come back and tell you the results are pretty heavy moments. Those are the moments that you relive your entire cancer journey, asking yourself if you think you're strong enough to do it again; wondering, if it's cancer, if it will be worse than the time before. Yes, you pray...actually you beg. You beg God that what the doctor sees is nothing. You beg Him not to make you go down that road again. You beg Him to give you peace and to stop your hands from shaking because you can't seem to stop them on your own. All of these things go through your head in a matter of moments. The nurse is not usually gone for very long, but by the time she returns you've put yourself right back on the same path you thought you just finished. But last May the nurse returned to tell me that everything looked good, it was fine, to come back in six months instead of a year just to make sure. The relief floods all through my body as I begin to thank God for these results. I thank Him and I praise Him. 

Fast forward six months to November and that mammogram check was good. I was in and out and there was nothing to worry about. But...a few weeks ago I found a new lump on my own. It was in the same breast where I had breast cancer and it felt exactly like the lump I found the first time. I immediately called my doctor and she set me up for another mammogram and ultrasound. They said it was fine, that it looked like scar tissue, but it didn't feel right to me. I love my doctor because she knows me so well. She knew before I got to her office that even though it looked good on film, it felt like the first round, and she knew I would be looking for peace. She was right. I was looking for peace. But here's the thing - where was I looking to find it? Of course I had prayed. I had asked God to make the lump be nothing and He did, but the lump was still there. Was my peace coming when I had it removed? Should I have peace in the fact that it looked okay? I knew from past experience that things can look good, but actually be cancer. So with much prayer and my doctor's advice, we decided to remove the lump to be safe and to be sure. She removed it and it was, in fact, scar tissue. It was benign. It was nothing. I needn't have worried at all. But I had worried and I had been searching for peace, and I want to talk about the moment I found it.

I am a person that loves to Praise the Lord. I love to Praise Him through music. Sometimes I love to get in my car for a long drive so I can get my praise on! My car is where I do my loudest and best singing because no one else can here me. :) There's a song by the new Gaither Vocal Band called "You Amaze Me". It talks about ways that God is amazing. It talks about how He lights the morning sky each day and how He holds creation in His hands. It talks about how the oceans crash against the sand behind the boundary of His unseen hand. That is so true...the ocean just stops right at the sand because God's hand is there. In the chorus it talks about how God created the world from nothing - a void of darkness - and how He held dust in His hand, gave it breath and called it man. My favorite line in whole song is this, "the angels that stood by His side must have cried, You amaze me". Oh, I get such a visual of a band of angels standing at the side of God watching Him transform this world from darkness into this beautiful place He gives us. I see that He holds the sun and the moon up in the sky every day and every night for us. I could go on and on about all the ways God amazes me, but what amazes me most is His unfailing, unconditional love He has for us. He sent His son to die for us on a cross. He's created a heaven that is so beautiful we cannot fathom it in our minds. He amazes me.

I heard this song the week I knew I was having this lump removed. I kept playing it over and over and finally I knew what God was trying to tell me. As the verse I've shared above says, "The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." (Exodus 14:14), He does fight for us. I knew He was fighting for me. I needed to be still and wait on Him. Zephaniah 3:17 says, "The LORD your God in your midst, the Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing". Wow! I love this verse! It says so much about our God, the Mighty One! He loves us. He rejoices over us. He quiets us with His love. This was it...this was my answer...this was my peace. I found it. I pulled into my garage that morning after listening to this song and I just knew - I was ready and prepared to take the journey again if the Lord wanted me to. I surrendered. I surrendered because He is fighting for me. He is by my side every moment of every day. I surrendered because I want to be in His will more than I want anything else, and I knew if that were true, I had to be prepared to walk through that cancer journey again if that was His will. I sat there in the car for a while thanking Him for the ways He loves me. I knew that no matter what, whether another journey through cancer or a cancer free diagnosis, God had it under His wings. Psalm 91:4 is a favorite verse of mine and it says, "He will cover you with his feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart." His faithfulness! He is faithful and His ways are higher than my ways and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that if God chose to send me on another cancer journey He would equip me with what I needed to travel it. And there was my peace. That was the moment I felt His presence and the moment joy flooded through me. I got my peace and my joy back because God is bigger than anything else. He is Jesus Messiah, Name above all Names, Blessed Redeemer, Emmanuel. This surgery was the most peaceful surgery I've had thus far. I knew I was under the wings of God. 

I look at all the ways God amazes me every day. I see God in the smiles of my children because He made me their mom, but I see their daddy and their aunt and their grandparents in them at times. That's God. I see God in the love of my husband. I see His hand upon my life in little ways like putting someone in my path to make me smile. I see God in big ways like being able to look at a situation and literally see His hand resting upon it. I see Him in the sunshine and in the birds singing. I see how He changes flowers into snow and back again time after time. There are countless ways every single day that God can amaze us. We need only to be still and look for them. 

I hope you know the Lord as your Savior. I don't want you to miss all the bountiful blessings He gives us. I want you to be amazed. I want you to find your peace in knowing that He fights for you because He does. He shines down on us and He loves us and He fights for us. He adores us and His will is perfect. I am thankful and I am grateful for the results I got, that cancer has not returned. I praise Him for this. I rejoice in this news. But I also find myself so very grateful for the way He helped me find my peace. I will follow Him anywhere because He knows best. He's radiant and mighty and quiet and loving and I love Him with all that I am. He amazes me!!

I love you all,
Kacey